dumb stupid pissin around
Tuesday, Oct. 30, 2018 9:59 am
i get what i deserve.
im truly a terrible person- inside..nobody knows- and my pathetic life and loneliness is my penance.
thats not to say that shittier people dont have seemingly better lives..but inside they feel as shit as i do and they have to live with that. and thats worse than all the gold in the world is great.
i dont get to have love. be loved. give love. i dont get to discover my passion. find fulfillment.
i get to work a dead end job with 16 cents in my bank account (as is currently the case). i get to live with my aging mother and have overdue oil changes, rotting teeth, and alcohol addiction.
thats what i get.
i dont know exactly why though. its probably because inside im not very nice. pretty much everything i do has ulterior motives aimed at me getting whatever it is i want in that moment. i reckon that i am truly worse than most people and karmic points are real. and the universe knows. the universe is the only who can see me for what i am..
i keep leaving this up on my work computer. bad idea. done now. miserable as evverrr