been better. been worse.
Friday, Jan. 10, 2020   10:28 am

really blah today.

had a good night last night. except for some shitty spots (calling out keira, getting called out by brandon and johnny for having a racially charged debate).

idk if thats the reason for my blahness today. idk.

heh. im about to figure my budget for the week. thatll def be a source.

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yep. it was. and now i just want to self-sabotage.

not in the worst ways my old days sabotage.

not light the world on fire and forget every moment before the last

but ive made a little progress lately and now i want to backtrack it all and slump and disappear into my giant self.

its not good healthy or right. but i feel really shitty and want to indulge.

ive got to do better. its so hard.

my life is half over and i feel like i have nothing to show for it but debt and regret.

at least i can rhyme.

sometimes.