not sure of much anything
Tuesday, Oct. 09, 2012   10:26 pm

i dont know whats going to happen.

im in limbo, mentally, emotionally...

im almost ready to go home.

unless i magically change myself.

which has Never happened..so, if it happens in the next 3 weeks id be as surprised as..well...me...

i dont know. i feel mostly always horrible. my prospects are not looking good in this moment.

i dont want to go, but i think its beyond my means to stay. i have to be realistic about where i stand.

im planning in my head early november. ha. go figure, i never listened to them...

as though this isnt disappointing enough to me, im also not voting this year. itll be my first election since i was given the right to vote. unless i happen to be home on november 6th. then, sure ill vote.

theres a lot of stuff thats happened in the last few days and weeks. not a HUGE lot, but some. i wish i could record it all so ill have it one day to look back on, but ive really lost the motivation to write-as though memories arent enough for some reason suddenly. i just cant/dont do it anymore. i dont know why.

im kinda forcing this right now. idk.