no fun. no fun. staring at the wall.
Monday, Jan. 25, 2010   6:43 pm

theres anger in me. and a horrible unsettled feeling.

i need something.

i dont want to be on the computer.

i dont want to sleep.

i dont want to hang out with the people i know.

i dont even want to drink.

im missing something. i need something. and im angry in my unfulfillment.

i dont know what to do.

a lot of whats making me angry is how lonely i am. its getting worse. feeling this lonely. i want a best friend. no one cares. i want someone to love (me). no one is there. right now im very scared its going to be like this a long time to come. this is just the beginning.

if only one night stands were gratifying longer than just the one night. id be fiiine. but unfortunately the warm feeling only lasts while we can remember each others names (generally just the night).

sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh.

i think maybe ill drink and then go to sleep. those are the two things that seem any bit of appealing right now.

or maybe ill take a nap and when i wake up ill drink til i fall asleep.

ill have a sleep and drink sandwich.