g2h
Tuesday, Dec. 01, 2009   3:10 am

GOD. i really dont understand at all...

i am crying right now. and i dont know why.

because, perhaps, the person that i am on the outside is nowhere as cool, strong, or stable as the baby inside.

everytime that i am faced with something real i hide. i get drunk or do drugs or sleep.

IM SCARED.

i cant really tell anyone because then ill have taken away my own freedom to react how i want to react.

and even with all of my explanations...no one truly understands. i am comlpetely misunderstood. be that my fault due to lack of communication or theirs due to lack of "experience".

i just know that i am not okay with what you are okay with. you being them. you being him. her. it. the man. society.

i am so much more. and i can do it on my own. .i neeed to try completely on my own. and i will.

i need to.

im so scared. scared looks weird to me. like an unword. like i just made it up. i

like sacred. but thats been confused and no one believes it. scared. sacred.

which do you prefer??