ive seen better days-but the best have to be yet to come
Thursday, Jul. 02, 2009   12:01 am

i had it all. i didnt realize it then. maybe i did and didnt know what to do with it.

so i ran away from it all.

let it slip away from me.

it makes ridiculously nostalgic for days that were just 2 years ago. so much has changed. more like 2 1/2 years. but still...

me and miguel were happy. i was making as much money as i ever have. me and alex were really close. cocaine was still my friend.

it scares me to think i wont be that happy ever again. i know i will. i mean shit-in two years i may look back at the summer of 09 and think: damn, life was nice then.

so, i dont know what to think. things could be better. but they arent that bad i guess.

right now though i am lacking love. close friendships. companionship. self confidence. in those departments, life was definitely better then.

but i am working to be better. i swear i am. i am.

i didnt go on an alcohol run tonight or last night. sad that thats good. for me.

its going to get better though. i cant live calling my coke addict days my best me. but it was fun.

ive two new kittens. i wont lose them like i did with my last 3. i swear! i hope well all be good for each other.

i still miss those days though.