santa fe again
Friday, Mar. 06, 2009   11:26 am

sigh.

im not sure how to start. and i dont feel like checking to see where i left off.

im in santa fe. after a grueling 2 1/2 day road trip.

i came here to visit reid. but its going to be a sort of...rehab/rejuvenation for me before im shipped off to albany, georgia for jobcorps.

this is a last hurrah kind of. but not really because these people dont cheer the way i do at home. but itll be a last something.

it has to. im dying and im sick of it. im getting old. i still want to have my fun but i need to squeeze in some responsibility and future structuring in there. i have to.

i need to regain some semblance of existing. because, i dont exist lately. and coming to see reid all i can tell him is stories of me tripping off of duster and not having a job. oh, and getting drunk every day in between. who am i? what am i?

a waste of space. but i dont want to be anymore. i want some substance again. ive really changed and it scares me. i dont want it to be permanent. ive killed too many brain cells in the past 3 months or so and i can feel the extra space that is now where they once were. the others are loving it cuz they can stretch their stupid legs...but, i kinda miss the missing ones.

too much jibber jabber to continue.