until the day i die!
Saturday, Jan. 10, 2009   12:50 am

this is from my hand writing on 12/21/08:

i believe. i believe in good. i believe in strength. i believe in love. i believe in eternity. i havent for a while. it feels good. i know there is bad. the yang. but i dont believe in it. its here but not in me and ill fight it when it nears.

i believe im harvesting this new power. i refuse to let the bad mold me or decide Me. bad is inevitable. the trick is to not let it be penetrable. right now its a skill im practicing but one day it will be a way of life. its exciting and it makes every coming day (forces will me) something to look forward to.

listen to me! who wouldve thought: me, the optimist.

the eternal optimist. is me now.

when the moments happen-the moments of doubt, fear, shame, anger, depression-i will fight. its one thing to allow yourself to feel those things (we are human. its a part of our species) and a whole other to live them.

i will never live them again.

im too strong. those emotions will not drive me, fuel me, make me.

everything is going to be okay.

okay...that wasnt the point of this rant...

but, this is something i still believe. and want to believe til the day i die.