come as you are
Saturday, Dec. 20, 2008   4:47 pm

things are wierd. and when things are wierd thus, theres no explaining. especially when i can barely get a grasp on the oddities im living.

i dont really care if i sound crazy. because i know the truth. im not warped or wrong. ever. im one of the most levelheaded people ive ever met-if you can consider existence as having met yourself.

im not one to act out based solely on emotions. i dont let them get the best of me. i have an objective eye and understand the importance of being able to see the big picture.

having said all of that...somethings wrong. in the universe right now. i feel it. something is off. it doesnt feel right. the air. the news. the weather. the people. somethings off. as levelheaded as i may be...im not the most articulate. theres a certain...je ne c'est quois that i just cant spit out. but i can feel.

tensions are building. rising. ascending. mounting. every day, a little more so. its like blowing up a balloon. it gets fuller and fuller and fuller until it has no more capacity for the full and it combusts. bursts into latex smithereens. thats whats happening to our world right now.

its evident in the news stories from around this country and world. how news is brought to the people. its evident in television.

i dont believe theres much more time left. i dont believe ill live until even age 30. ive always, always known i wasnt meant to be old. always. and now, with these 2012 revelations i understand that its not just been the naivete of a young person-the sense of invincibility, untouchability. an unjustified ideal that im different from the rest. its more. i know. and its right. i will never be 40, 50, or 60. not in the way people are now.

to the naked eye, this probably sounds a little...cracked. im so okay that i can understand that. and to those who see crackedness all i can say is...you just dont see. and maybe you werent meant to.

im scared. things are going to get worse before they get better. much worse. i feel it. womens intuition.

i cant tell many this because this probabaly sounds even more insane than the whole entry so far...but i truly believe im more. i truly believe...it sounds crazy to even say this outside of myself: i am the fifth element. i understand thats a movie. yes. but i think theres truth in everything: if you can imagine it, then its out there. its in time or space somewhere existing. waiting to be discovered. so, the idea of there being a fifth element, i believe it. and i believe i could be that person. or something. i have something inside thats more. i cant explain it. i cant deny it. i cant refute it. i cant ignore it anymore. its in me. it is me.

i have patience. it gets hard but i maintain a positive outlook most of the time. its the only way. and wait. be good to life and wait. our day will come.