sleep deprived or bike ridden high?
Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2008   2:48 am

today was beautiful in a way.

it was sobering. free. youthful. alive. feeling.

cam and i went bike riding to the beach. at first we were a scene out of now and then (im christina ricci, shes demi moore). then i really had to push myself to make it over bridges and against the wind and to keep up with somesh and cam. and i prevailed. i didnt kno i could do that anymore.

then i was faced with drinking and yeah i had 2 shots and a frozen drink, but with my tolerance...i might as well have saved our money and just had soda. but, i could have ran with the drinking on the beach thing-a favorite pass time-but i didnt for pure appreciation of just being able to live in the sober moment and not need anything else.

im still jobless as hell (danny is gonna try to get me a job at santas village. ha!!!) and broke like chuck (?) but things are actually looking up. if this bike riding sticks i could get in shape, go places, not need substances so bad. you kno? vices are a part of life, but if i could transition from drugs to bikes...man!

i guess tomorrow will have to tell, but today i felt good. for the first time in 8 days. sober good.

now, alls i needs is a job, a car, love, and my own kitchen. and a kitten. i want a kitty. maybe i could name it love. 2 birds one stone.

okay..im resisting sleep here almost 3am. matchbox twenty!

but im not tired! wah!!! ok. ok. go, jordan. youve had a busy day.