blame the blood!!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008   4:12 pm

i never thought i had a talent. a special gift. everyone has something. i, until it just dawned on me, had nothing.

some can touch their tongue to their nose. others can play the piano at only 2 years old.

ive got a knack for pushing my closest friends away. its not easy to push away best friends. well, maybe not for your average schlub. but, i can: in a matter of one text or in a single instant message.

i did it on sunday with shannon and john. i cant really think of why, but once i get going i cant be stopped. theres something there. under there that makes me do dumb things like i do. but i dont leave well enough alone. i like to push and push and push until ive pushed myself straight into a corner with no friends.

its happened before. in middle school i isolated myself towards the end. in high school the same. and again in college. and now for round 4. no...round 4 was the beginning of this year when i removed myself from any relationship i had with anyone. this is like round 4 scene 2 or something.

itll be okay. i know it will. i just wish i knew what it was in me that grows so bigheaded and refuses to back down. instead, id rather go up a dusty hill by myself.

im not talking much sense here. i just got my period yesterday.

ha. menses. a girls best excuse for anything.