fucking sliced bread
Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2006   12:19 pm

this isnt the first time my mom has used me to get to my brother. and i hate it!

the only reason she called me and told me she was sending him away was to put this scare into him. i mean, she was really thinking about it. but its one of those things that are way easier said than done. but why?! bring me into it?

hes not leaving. and i guess The Scare helped me appreciate him more. and take advantage of the fact that we are together in life right now. because once i move out, i dont know how often ill see him.

i wont make promises because they get broken. and i can raise hopes because they also break. i know that once i leave my family to be on my own i will get lost in myself and my life. and as much as i can dedicate myself to not do that is how much i just cant. its not really what i want. i want to have my life and be 110% selfish and not have it affect anyone but me. i want to be responsible to and for only me. and i hardly get home now as it is-and i live there. so, yeah.

point being: my eyes have opened a little more to the fact that i should take advantage of matt as opposed to for granted. i love him. hes my brother. hes one half of my whole family. hes growing up and needs me more than he knows. and i want to be around. and im glad i am.

blah, blah. sap, sap.

have i ever mentioned my love for myspace? well...i love myspace. seriously, i remember nothing existing prior. the wheel? didnt come along until myspace. what would we do without it?

myspace-not the wheel.