weekend update
Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005   12:49 am

i havent updated in 46 days. it doesnt feel like its been that long. it feels shorter. it feels way longer.

lots happens to me. a lot. i do a lot of drugs. freddy and i fight. i have an apartment now with my name on the lease. fred bought me a purse for christmas. someone gave me a bike for work. im an adult-i pay half the rent. probation is almost over.

(i dream about hector every night of my life.)

mike and i are veeering away from friendship. shannon and i are becoming one. michael and i made out at work today. i stepped down from my pricing position and took up general merchandise. i sold cocaine. i saw gwen stefani at her last concert date and her first public baby announcement.

i like ricky. ive kissed 3 people tonight: ricky, karlos, and michael from work. but i want ricky most of all.

i want fred to-but mostly i just want him to want me. i want everyone to want me. im so used to typing those words-want me.

shits crazy. i just want all the boys to love me. i work a lot. i blow people off a lot. i do nothing. and i spend all my extra time at kris' apartment. life sucks.