im not thinking anymore
Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005   4:40 pm

in the 10 days since i was last online, not much has happened.

i have a stalker. hes not a stalker, he just calls me at midnight and six in the morning and on all of his 36 breaks during work. now, he wants a picture of me. says maybe itll prevent him from calling so much.

i guess thats why i really should stop giving strangers on the bus my phone number. moms right again.

shannons home. being with her makes me feel like im really back home again. like, now im in florida. the last 2 months have happened in some sort of limbo, i suppose. i dont laugh much anymore, but i laugh with her. i feel happy with her.

even when she pisses me off and im yelling at her (she and my mom are the only 2 people who can make me so angry) im content. im comfortable. i dont want to say happy, but im good.

but im missing something. i dont have feelings right now. i know what i said ^ there combats that, but really i feel empty. when im living life it just goes right through me. i dont soak anything up. i dont embrace any moments. at the end of the day, i really have to think to recall what i did that day. even if i just stayed in bed all day-i have to scour my brain for confirmation that thats what happened.

im just rambling. go to hell.