ants in my pants
Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2005   8:22 pm

i have to get out of here. it seems like everywhere i go, i soon find myself so antsy to leave. why am i like that?

today has been horrible. i woke up at kellys (miriam kicked me out last night) and was dropped off back at uhouse. alex asked her to bring me. i thought maybe alex wanted to hang out today. no, she thought i had the keys to miriams cousins place. so i left.

i walked and took the bus to donate plasma. they had to test my pulse rate 5 times before it was under 100. i passed with a 98. the heat? maybe. i hadnt eaten yet, so i asked the doctor for some crackers. i could only eat 2 before i couldnt stand them anymore.

after the plasma i crossed the street to find the bus (an all day pass was $3.50!). i felt dizzy and hot, but there was nothing i could do about it. so, i had a cigarette. definitely didnt help. especially considering you are supposed to wait at least 2 hours before lighting up.

i felt sick. i couldnt wait for the bus. i ate 2 more crackers-hoping that would calm my body down. it didnt. i was shaking and dripping sweat and could barely sit up. my vision blurred and began to dim. i went to a pay phone and called alex. i begged her to come get me. even my voice was weak. i was scared. im not sure how close i was, but it was the closest ive ever been to fainting.

when she got there, miriam was in the car. boo. i asked alex to take me back to kellys. but she didnt understand why. because i didnt want to be around someone who didnt want to be around me. i know when im not wanted, and im not one to try and overkill anything. alex decided that taking me back to uhouse was the smartest thing. (well, at least i had my bed for one night-was miriams reply to that.)

i took a quick nap-on the couch-and jumped in the shower. erin invited us to fridays for free breadsticks and drinks. and i was sweaty and smelly. i get out of the shower and wait downstairs for miriam and alex. after a while i wondered what was taking them so long. i go upstairs-no one there. look outside: the cars gone. they left without me. to confirm that thought, i went to tulleys to use his phone-he wasnt there. i go to alexs to ask him to use his phone to call miriam. he wasnt there either. mustve gone with them. i had to ask his roommate to borrow a phone.

"i thought you wanted to take a nap."

no good-bye, i hung up. so, here i sit-my body is exhausted, my stomach is starving after eating only 4 crackers today, and i am thouroughly pissed off. i was planning to eat. but it looks like dinner will be from walgreens tonight.

thank god alex wants to go home tomorrow. i am so incredibly out of here.