sore from head to toe
Friday, Feb. 04, 2005   11:10 am

depressed as usual...

it really doesnt seem that everyone is as fucked up in the head as i am. or at least as i feel like i am. i am so sad and i dont think there is a reason for it. i make up reasons to be sad then follow through. if that makes sense.

glen thought i was beautiful. he called me incredible. and i believed. i think thats the latest source of my unhappiness.

im sad because no one will ever say those things to me again. i know it. it doesnt matter what i think about myself. its not exactly the same. its a scary thought.

but i dont know why i get myself so worked up about stupid shit like that because i am still really young and have a lot of life left to live. so it could still happen, right? in theory, it should, no?

these are things i have to tell myself to fall asleep at night. one day maybe i wont be so pathetic.

that could happen too. couldnt it?