all sentimental and shit
Thursday, Jan. 06, 2005   8:26 pm

everything is okay with me and shannon. i knew it would be. i always know it will be. but being in the middle of something bad with her is really bad. it gives me this horrible feeling inside me. like, not only empty, but bad. its just a bad, bad feeling. but now were good.

also, me and mike are good. i think we are getting better every day, which makes me very happy. the fact that he believes he and marlesse are going to get married in 12 years twists my insides the wrong way. but im coming to terms with his naivete and his ability to fall hopelessly in love with the first girl who shows him the slightest attention. i hung out with him the other day and realized that i cant even see us together anyways, so theres no reason he should suffer for my lack of ability to move on. i love that kid.

gosh, i love my home. my home being fort lauderdale. i love it so much. it is me and i feel like i am fort lauderdale. and, secretly, i do want to live here forever. maybe because i actually feel like i have a home here and i havent felt that in a very long time. there is such a huge amount of comfort everywhere i go in this city. i really feel like i built it, or like i own it or something. or, because of me, it is the city it is. i cant see calling another place home.

this entry was stupid. i just might even end up erasing this entry. all about feelings and crap. emotions suck.