im happiest when im not happy
Monday, Nov. 15, 2004   6:56 pm

i want to not be okay. i thrive for it. in my mind, if you feel that you are okay, then your life is boring.

i like my baggage. i love it. i like cutting and not crying. i like having a "drug habit". i like my dysfunctional family. i need all those things. i need pain in my life, otherwise...i dont know where id be. maybe, id be happy...but where has happiness ever gotten anyone?