we are the datelss losers-lonely until we die!
Thursday, Oct. 07, 2004   4:24 pm

theres really very little to say today, considering i feel nothing.

im not happy. im not sad. im just here. i dont know if i hate that feeling or if i love it and embrace it. i have it a lot. that empty feeling.

i dont think ive been happy here yet. like, at home, sometimes i could say, yes i am happy. but here i havent felt that yet. i feel good. i like the people im around. but i havent felt truly content with anything.

something ive been thinking about. i told ang that shes my best friend. (i know that if i read this in anyone elses diary id hurry up and find another diary to read...but, for some reason its okay for me to write shit like this.) best friends are serious business to me. i mean it when i say it. so to call her my best friend after 5 weeks of friendship is a little hasty on my part. i think i mostly said it cuz she said it to me a few days earlier. i also think i said it becuase i was high or seeing triple or something. the more i analyze it the more i realize it was such a stupid thing to say. its not in the least bit true. oh well...i think she was high too.

i need more drugs. i just cant seem to be high enough ever lately. maybe i should take that kid up on his x offer...