like the third freaking time i cried at work
Tuesday, Jun. 29, 2004   6:32 pm

first...how do we like the new look? i seriously busted my a$$ (no cursing) to get it just how i wanted and it still has its quirks. oh well...

i am a nice person. there are very few people whom i dislike and ever fewer who will ever know about it. i dont intentionally piss anyone off (or even get pissed off by anyone). so, when it happens (me making someone angry) its kind of upsetting. i dont know how to deal with someone being mad at me. my mom is the exception and i just respond with my typical teenage behavior...

last night the front desk guy at work was hanging up stuff for 4th of july. for some reason he called me a b*tch or something. it usually doesnt, but for some reason, last night i let that affect me (it was most likely the presence of the 2 hotties applying for jobs) and i punched him in the stomach while he was reaching up. his face turned that shade of red i usually see once a month for 5-7 days. i knew immediately that i crossed a line. the words that came out of his mouth following the violence confirmed that.

i dont know-the rest of the time i was there-about 30 minutes-i had a horribly twisted stomach. i have never really made him mad at me. and now he was and i was scared that everything would be tense whenever we worked the same shifts (like right now). we usually play around intensely, you know. 15 minutes earlier he had sandwiched me between another coworker and a huge kodak display was knocked over (i didnt get mad about that even though i was the one cleaning it up). a couple weeks ago we were running around spraying each other with roach spray and glass cleaner. he makes rude comments about my a$$ and i make fun of his balding. everything is fair game. so i felt really bad that i had made him angry-since its such a hard thing to do.

i bought him an "im sorry" card and his favorite: donut sticks and put them in a brown bag with his name on it. it made me so sad when he didnt even open it. i went in the bathroom and cried about it a little. it was bad enough that a coworkers girlfriend threatened me earlier that day. and then someone was mad at me? i felt absolutely horrible. (and later i spilled the beans that that coworker had gotten the chick knocked up-which had been a secret. i think people ought to be notified when something is a secret, by the way.)

oy! whatever! it was a bad day. but when i came in today i asked him if he forgave me and he said he was getting there. so far, since 4, everything has been normal and i am soo relieved.

okay, so pointless entry now that i reread it; but since i was so affected at the time, i figured it was entry worthy.