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Friday, Mar. 19, 2004   7:50 pm

i dont think i am going to college.

tonite my mom and my brother had to get out of sandra's house. until a shelter bed becomes available they have a voucher for the red carpet inn. i hate my mom. i hate her for doing this to my brother. he doesnt deserve this.

so, i was thinking: fuck college for now. after high school i will work 40 hours a week and get a place for me and matt to live. just until she is stable enough to provide for her son. i wouldnt mind it. i have even begun thinking of how the whole after school scheduling would work and what games we could play when boredom attacks. it wouldnt be too bad. my mom cant be homeless and unemployed for the rest of her life, right? if time permits (and cash flow), i will even get my AA from BCC.

i dont know what is going to happen, but i cant let my brother get caught up in my moms bullshit. he doesnt deserve it. i went through it (shelters, hotels, everything) but i was/am a lot older-mentally-than him. even if he could handle it, i wouldnt want him too.

i hate my mom so much.