shakin in my boots
Monday, Aug. 09, 2004   9:47 pm

a week away. i am moving in a week from tomorrow morning.

i am so scared.

i know i am going to be crying a super lot between now and then. i already did last night-and i was holding back. i feel like if i let the tears go they will never stop.

this is becoming too real. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do to make this easier. i dont know what to do to make me miss my mom less. i am so scared of saying good bye to her. just thinking of being 2300 miles from her brings that horrible feeling to my nose. that feeling where you know tears are not far behind.

as though i dont feel alone enough here, at home, i am going into a whole new world-2 time zones over-to be even more alone. i dont know. ive been playing strong for so long, and now, when i really have to be, i dont know if i will be able to do it.

but i know that i have nothing to come back to if i dont. so, i will.